Learn how to stop self-sabotage and manifest your ideal life

Trying to keep up with everything you need to do in a day can be challenging.  Your boss has expectations, then there are your responsibilities at home.  Everyone has demands that take control of their lives.  You feel like you are being pulled in every direction.  Sometimes it can feel like there is no time left for you to pursue the life you actually what to lead. 

Whether it is going for the promotion, eating healthier, working out, or starting that business you’ve been dreaming about, I’m going to show you how to live your ideal life.  This is not a gimmick, nor is it magic.  This is all about mindset.

When you spend your time chasing ways to meet everyone else’s needs, your own can quickly go unfulfilled.  While many will often say, “that’s life,” it doesn’t have to be.  We will create a plan to do both, and all it takes is a commitment to yourself.

So many different factors contribute to where you end up in life.  While many are out of your control, your mindset is one thing you can.  There is a mentality that lends itself to allowing you to achieve things you never thought you could.  The only thing stopping you is your own imagination and possibly some negative self-talk.  But today, we are going to change all of that.

When I talk about manifesting your ideal life, you might roll your eyes.  You’ll probably guess that I am strange.  You might also think that my next step is to sell you some crystals and look up your star chart. 

You probably think I’m talking about casting a spell or wising on a star and waiting for the universe to provide.  Manifesting is often framed like this, but it is an overly simplified view.  You can’t just conjure results out of thin air.  There is a distinct method for obtaining these results, and I will share that with you today.

You will need to take several steps to get to the lifestyle you want.  Regardless of your destination, each journey begins with the right mindset.  You must be open to allowing the possibility of success into your life. 

Today we are going to break down limiting beliefs and overcome self-sabotage.  This will get you ready to embark on the path to your ideal life.  If you have not already signed up for our newsletter, please consider doing so.  We supply support and resources for this journey directly to your inbox.  You don’t have to go it alone.  We’ve got your back!

What is Manifesting, and Why Does it Matter?

Manifesting is the practice of visualizing your goals and aspirations then taking deliberate steps to pull them into reality.  This is done through well-planned, purposeful steps towards your personal goal line.

Manifestation is not a magic cure or overnight success.  Instead, it is a stepwise plan that targets your precise goals and guides your way to making them a reality.  This process takes work, commitment, patience and time.  However, when done right, you can do anything.

It is a common misunderstanding that simply putting your intentions out “into the universe” is how you manifest.  While this is one step in the manifestation process, it will not bring you the success you want.  You need to follow the entire plan from beginning to end.  This is the only way to actually get the results you want.

How to Manifest Your Ideal Life

Now that we have debunked the myths about manifesting success let’s get started!  This article will take you step by step through the entire process.  Each step is crucial, so make sure to complete them in order before moving on to the next.  Don’t skip any steps because you feel like they’re lame or useless.  Each one has a purpose in helping you make room in your life and get clear on your goals.  This has to be completed in full to get the best results.

Get clear on what you want.

The first step is to get clear on what you want your goal to be.  This can be modest if it’s your first time.  Or something more significant.  Just know that the bigger the goal, the longer the timeline, and the more intricate the steps will be. 

You want to be specific when you are setting this goal.  If you’re going to live a healthier lifestyle, make sure to decide exactly what that means to you.  Do you want to exercise more?  Eat better?  Spend more time with friends and family?  What does it mean to you specifically?

Your ideal life will not always look the same as anyone else’s.  Getting clear on what you want is the only way to focus your attention and make progress.

Once you have clarified precisely what you want, make a commitment to yourself that you will achieve it.  None of this half-hearted, “I’ll try my best.”  Have faith in yourself.  Make the decision that this future is yours and that it is only a matter of time before it is tangible.

Write it down and post it somewhere you can see it every day.

This is a step that people skip too often, but it is one of the most important.  Write your goal down and post it somewhere you will see it every day.  This can be on your bedside table, in your planner, or on the dashboard of your car.  Where you post, it is not as important as how often you see it.

Make it bright and bold.  You want it to pull your attention and remind you of what you are working towards.  Every day, this should remind your own personal goal line and your reward at the end of this journey.

I have a picture of my dream house on my computer’s desktop.  Whenever I feel my motivation lacking, I go house hunting for a new dream house and update the picture.  This helps me to remember what I am working towards.  It is a visual representation of my ideal life.

Don’t be ashamed or try to hide it.  It is so vital that you embrace this goal and keep it at the forefront of your mind at all times.  If you forget about it, you will start to ignore it and the steps you should be taking to achieve it.  Soon, you will fall behind on your plan and feel like you will never catch up. 

This is how plans are abandoned.  When motivation fades from lack of progress.

Hiding your goals is a common form of self-sabotage.  It is usually linked to a fear of failure.  If you don’t actually try to achieve this goal, you can’t fail.  The problem here is you also can’t succeed.

You CAN do this.  It’s okay to believe in yourself.  Write down your goal or a symbol of it and post it anywhere you look every day.  It’s okay to want something for yourself.  There is no shame or selfishness to want to live a better life, as long as it is the life that you want.  Post your goal and remind yourself of your journey and how badly you want to reach the destination.

Make room in your life for success.

This is a critical step.  Here we will clear out the chaos and distractions that hold you back from focusing wholeheartedly on success. 

Start by doing a simple declutter to make room for what you want in life.  Some simple ways to start are:

• Throwing out or donating old clothes.
• Storing out-of-season clothes.
• Cleaning our old toiletries from under your sink.
• Clean out your fridge.
• Clearing off the top of your dresser.
• Deep cleaning a room.
• Emptying your inbox.
• Unsubscribe from spammy emails you don’t open.

Taking the time to do this task is signalling a fresh start.  You are opening a new chapter in your life, and This is a physical way to signal that to yourself.  This clutter takes up space in your life and can congest the path for new opportunities to come to you. 

You don’t have to tackle this entire list.  Start with the best choice for you and complete it.  If you feel like you need to do more, tackle one project at a time. 

Don’t overwhelm yourself trying to do an entire rehaul of your house.  This will also distract you from making progress if you fixate on cleaning rather than growing.  Instead, use these decluttering tasks as the ability to lighten the burden on your shoulder and center your focus.  Choose when and which tasks you will undertake mindfully.  Don’t jump into a cleaning frenzy and bite off more than you can chew.  Less is more!

Make a plan.

Now, we finally get serious.  At this point, you should be very clear on what you want.  When you close your eyes, picture your goal clearly and precisely what achieving that goal means to you.  This future should feel so real that you can taste and smell it.

You should also have your goal, or a symbol of it posted somewhere you can easily see every day.  This keeps it in the forefront of your mind so you can constantly make progress towards it, no matter how small. 

Finally, you should have made some space for this new reality to enter.  The decluttering should make room for you to symbolically receive what you want and create closure so you can start a new beginning. 

These steps are all critical and are premade in this plan.  The next step will force you to go out on a bit of a limb.  You will need to sit down and write a detailed plan to reach your goal. 

When setting this plan, be as specific as possible.  Write down every detail to know just the blueprint to build towards achieving this goal.  This will be specific to your goals and how you define your ideal life.

For example, if your goal is to lead a healthier lifestyle by eating better and exercising, your list might look something like this:

• Stop eating fast food.
• Start exercising.
• Start meal prepping.
• Learn new recipes.
• Find a hobby that allows me to be more active.
• Test out some hobbies to find one I like.
• Learn more about nutrition.
• Start reading the labels at the grocery store.
• Eat more vegetables and fibre.

And so on…

This is going to be highly personal.  We all have different starting points, and there is nothing to be ashamed of.  Regardless of your starting point, be realistic about how far you want to go and where you are starting. 

You will not have to tackle all of these steps at once, so don’t be intimidated.  Just think of all the different steps you might want to include and write them down.  They don’t even have to be in order at first.  This list can be rewritten and changed as you progress and reach milestones. 

You can never be too detailed when you are writing out this plan.  The more thorough, the more likely you will be to succeed.  The deeper you dive into the details, the more invested you will be.  This will help you to stay focused on your success.

This planning stage is critical.  This is the path that you will travel to reach your goal.  Each item you add to this list is a goal that will get you one step closer.  You are drawing out a map right now, which will lead you to success.

Stay positive.

Significant changes can be terrifying.  Especially if it is something that you are really invested in.  Regardless of what that means to you, creating your ideal life can be a symbol of so much more. 

For some people, it could be to get to a place where they could get off medications.  Perhaps you finally want to make a big career change.  Others may want to lose weight or run a marathon.  There are as many reasons as there are people on earth.  Each reason is truly personal but no less important or daunting.

Staying positive is an essential step in reaching any of these finish lines.  This does not mean that you have to be obnoxiously happy every day.  That is not realistic, but something is to be said about the law of attraction.

Negative self-talk will inhibit your progress.  If you constantly tell yourself you can not do something, achieving it will be an uphill battle.  However, if you tell yourself you can do it and encourage yourself, you will trick your brain into believing it.  Even if you can’t imagine it at first, achieving your goal will be that much easier.

Negative self-talk is internalized, even if you don’t mean it.  It will damage your progress and conjure up anxiety and fear.  This is not going to help with your progress.  Instead, use positive affirmations to help you look at the bright side when you’re feeling down.

You have to believe you can achieve the goal if you want to make progress.  Even if you occasionally doubt yourself, don’t fall into the trap of negative self-talk.  Instead, tell yourself you can do it until you believe it.

If you have depressed moods or anxiety that persist, there are resources you can turn to.  It’s okay to be vulnerable.  There are ways to access support when you need it.  Take care of yourself and your mental health.

Accept help.

There is nothing shameful about needing help.  This is a belief that stops progress in its tracks.  Regardless of what you need, it’s okay to ask for assistance.

One example is the stigma surrounding weight loss.  So many people struggle on their own, but diet and exercise are often not enough.  Having an honest conversation with your doctor about your options can be life-changing.

There are so many different options out there.  It does not have to be a question of surgery or struggle.  Many medications can get you started.  This little burst can propel you to making it the rest of the way on your own.

This is just one example of thousands.  Whatever help you need, don’t be too proud to ask for it.

Sometimes what you ask for comes in unfamiliar packages.

There are times that what you asked for might be repackaged with a different bow.  You may not recognize it at first, so keep your eyes open.

Losing weight is a common goal so let’s use this as an example.  Maybe your goal is to start exercising regularly, which is a perfectly logical plan for this objective.  As you begin working your steps and breaking down your goals, you realize you love experimenting in the kitchen with new ingredients.

I’m not necessarily saying you will fall in love with cooking or the cleaning that comes with it.  Instead, the creative outlet of experimenting with new ingredients coupled or the adventure of trying new flavors might become your new joy.

Maybe you have even found a chef or a home cook that you have fallen in love with.  You try all of their recipes, and soon you realize that you have completely cut out fast food.

To your delight, you are still starting to meet your milestones.  The pounds are coming off, and you are no longer stressing out about how hard you have to hit the gym.  The fresh ingredients you have been using in these recipes, coupled with the fact that you are no longer binging on fast food, have really helped you make positive steps towards your goals.

Keep your eyes open for clues that your success could be manifesting.  It is okay to take the easy way to your goals.  If you discover a step or an activity you love, lean into it.  This is still helping you reach your destination.  You deserve to enjoy this journey!

Remove limiting beliefs and self-sabotage.

Unfortunately, we can often be our own worse enemy.  Often, we want something so badly that it terrifies us to ask for it.  In these cases, the fear of failure might cause us to get in our own way.

It’s easier to accept defeat if you don’t bother to try.  If you just give up, you can’t fail on something that means so much.  You won’t have to face the realization of falling short, and you can just stay living in this comfort zone you have created for yourself.

If you have come this far, you obviously don’t want to stay here.  It’s clear that you want to make a change and have the drive to commit to it. 

Living this way will not be an easy habit to break, but it is possible.  We will do the same thing here as we will do to achieve your goal.  We are going to take it one step at a time.

The first thing I want you to do is to start accepting compliments.  This seems too simple, doesn’t it?  Next time someone says “good job” or anything along those lines, just say “thank you.”

Do this in every aspect of your life.  Accept the compliment then, allow yourself to feel good about it.

Allow them to give you praise for a job well done.  You deserve praise.  You are worthy of it.  Don’t feel guilty, ashamed, or self-conscious that someone gives you recognition.  Even if you feel unworthy.

You don’t have to say, “it’s nothing.”  It IS something!

Not allowing yourself to be praised or not accepting compliments will block your success.  Take it.  Soak it up.  You are worth it, and you can replicate that same success on a larger scale.

5 Tips for Manifesting Your Ideal Life

There are a handful of pointers that can help you to get the best results on this journey.  There are no shortcuts, but these can help you ease the transition and reduce your anxiety. 

It is a big decision to try and change your life.  To finally pursue your dreams, get out of your comfort zone.  These tips will help ease the transition and help you through.

Set weekly and monthly goals.

At a minimum, you should go through your list of steps and evaluate how much progress you have made each month.  Try to work on each item on the list one at a time.  Slowly incorporate each into your life to avoid getting overwhelmed. 

Do not tackle the entire list at once.  Instead, choose one focus and then set a milestone for the month.  Next, break that into steps that will take one week to achieve. 

Once you have weekly tasks, you know what you have to do each day to complete that task.

You can make these as big or as small as you are ready to commit to.  Let’s look at an example:

• Month #1 Goal: Try to eat healthier
  • Week #1
    • Try to cut back on eating out.
  • Week # 2
    • Try to cut back on eating out.
    • Cook a big meal and freeze leftovers.
  • Week #3
    • Try to cut back on eating out.
    • Cook a big meal and freeze leftovers.
  • Week #4
    • Try to cut back on eating out.
    • Experiment with a new recipe.

If you notice, you are only introducing one new habit at a time.  This gives you the best chance at success and limits how much overwhelm you experience.  Biting off more than you can reasonably chew is just another form of self-sabotage.

You might also notice that the goals for weeks #2 and #3 are the same.  It is okay to pause progress at a particular stage to help you to adapt.  Do this until you get into the habit and routine, but do not stop reviewing your goals or progress.

You still need to work for it.

Manifesting your ideal life is not the same as a magic fairy flying down with a magic wand and delivering your dreams.  You need to put in the work to make this happen.

Instead, manifesting will help you to open yourself up to the possibility that you can have this life.  It also enables you to create a concrete plan and gives you the steps to follow to achieve it. 

Trust the process.

Once you’ve started along this path, you will encounter apprehension.  There will be times when you get worried about your progress.  You may even get overwhelmed about how much farther you still have to go.

Don’t start second-guessing yourself partway through.  This is just another form of self-sabotage.  This is the fear and the anxiety that is sitting underneath the surface.  It’s natural, and it will happen, no matter how dedicated you are to your goals.

Acknowledge these worries and work through them logically.  Confront them one by one, and don’t let them take up space in your brain.  Instead, write them down and brainstorm ways to overcome that fear or why it might be invalid.

Follow your plan all the way through to completion.  Try your best not to take shortcuts, no matter how tempting they might be.  They are likely to sidetrack you.

There are no shortcuts to success.  You have to put in the work.  Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, complete your tasks, and achieve one goal at a time.  You’ll get there.

Choose a positive affirmation to say to yourself.

Staying positive is going to be tough.  There are days that you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed.  When there is just a rain cloud that seems to follow you, nothing goes your way. 

If you have trouble seeing the sunny side, try repeating positive affirmations.  Pick out one or two that resonate with you and make them your mantra.  Repeat them every day until you believe them.

This might feel weird or unnatural at first.  Especially if this is not something that you are used to doing.  This will be uncomfortable at first if you are used to talking down to yourself, but it will get easier with practice.  Just try it out.

These affirmations don’t have to be corny.  Use something that resonates with you specifically.  If you have trouble, try a few out, and see which one sticks.

One strategy that often works is to pick a phrase you love from a tv show or a movie.  One that always worked for me is from Grey’s Anatomy.  During one scene in season one, a resident is sleepy and wants to go to bed rather than finishing their first overnight shift.  To this, their friend replies: “Do you want to go to bed?  Or, do you want to be a surgeon?”

This question was blunt, ruthless, and might have even been a bit unfair, but it was exactly what they needed to push through.  This may not have been the healthiest example, but I love that show and get the deeper meaning.

Don’t let a minor setback get you off track.

Success does not happen overnight.  Everyone meets bumps along the way.  When you hit a minor setback, don’t give up.  Instead, use your desire and your drive to power through.

Be relentless in pursuit of your goals.  You deserve to have nice things.  You deserve to have happiness and the life that you want.

Sometimes, if you keep pushing through the tricky bits, you will find that it gets easier.

Restate your intention every day.

A key step to staying committed to your success is to restate your intention every day.  Describe and picture exactly what your ideal life looks like.  Remind yourself what you will achieve and imagine what your life will look like once you reach your goal. 

It is absolutely crucial to say your goals out loud.  Repeat it to yourself over and over in the shower.  Whenever you have a chance, chant that mantra.  This part of manifestation gets the “put it out in the universe” wrap. 

Manifesting your ideal life is a process.  You will have to work on it every day, but these don’t have to be massive, back-breaking jobs.  Instead, break your goals down into manageable tasks.  Tiny steps that can easily fit into your life, one at a time, until you are making noticeable strides.

This process can be applied to nearly anything you want in life, from choosing a career, making more money, or buying a house.  Once you get good at manifesting, nothing can get in your way!

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